Friendship isn’t the same as affinity. We confuse them all the time.

Let's run through how it always happens:

You meet someone, you become friends, you have your season together, and for life reasons you go on different paths. You try to keep in touch, but over time you talk less and less.

The connection fades.

And then you absolutely hate each other.

Right? Wrong.

Falling out of touch is a natural part of relationships in modern life. Here’s the bold take: if you’ve fallen out of touch, you’re not friends anymore. You’re out of each other’s lives. And that’s okay.

Do you hate your friends from school? Maybe you feel neutral, or maybe there’s still warmth and fondness there.

You can still like someone, still have affinity or love for them, and not be their friend anymore. It's ok to not be friends with people.

Just because you're not friends now doesn't mean you can't weave back into each other's lives.

I like the visual of a helix, two bands weaving in and out.

At the intersection, you're present.

Then life pulls you apart again.

You can still like someone—still love them—and not be their friend anymore.

And that’s okay.

That re-weaving can feel effortless or surprising—like no time has passed.

That’s the magic of affinity. It stays in the DNA of the relationship--

Even when the friendship pauses.