We all get stuck in thought loops. The key isn’t to ‘think your way out’—it’s to break the pattern.

These destructive thought loops feel impossible to escape—but they’re not. Here are three ways to break free:

1. stop and do something that you like

When you're caught in a cycle, fighting thought-on-thought doesn't usually help. Telling yourself "have happy thoughts" or "don't think about this anymore" may work before a certain threshold of dysregulation, but at some point, thoughts alone can't help you.

You need to access your moods directly. Drop everything—even if just for 15 minutes—and do something that you enjoy. Go for a walk, exercise, write a poem, pick up an instrument, meet a friend for coffee—anything to break the cycle. If you can't talk yourself out of the loop, you have to break it with a complete pattern shift.

The parts of us that get dysregulated aren't often logical. They may make sense from a psychoanalytical standpoint, but the parts themselves don't respond well to pure logicianship.

A helpful substrategy : treat your dysregulated self of you like a child who needs care. Take that inner child out to play. Take them out for ice cream. You want to feel a twinge of excitement in the same way that a child lights up when they get to do something they like.

2. take a small step towards the fix

Whatever your destructive thought loop narrative is, there is likely some solution in accordance with the narrative's complaint. Whether the thought loop is "I need money," "No one loves me," "I wish I was married," "The world isn't fair to me," or what have you—there is some action you can take toward resolving the complaint.

You want a partner? Take the small action to go online, ask someone out, or go to an event where you'll meet someone. You want to be more fit? Go outside and take a walk, or spend 15 minutes on a bike at the gym. You want more money? Apply for a job or set up a coffee meetup with someone who can brainstorm money-making strategies with you.

Small actions are okay. The point is to make incremental progress. It's okay if the small action doesn't yield the full or perfect result.

The point is to gain momentum. Each small action helps weaken the grip of the loop. Even if the step feels insignificant, it creates movement—and movement breaks the cycle.

3. call for support

Text or phone a friend. Call a mentor. Check in with your family. Whoever you know that can provide a safe space for your expression, call them.

This one is critical. Self-regulation is an ideal, but it's also unnatural. We actually need each other to regulate. Simply being heard by a human can calm us down. Someone else may also be able to offer perspectives or ideas that get us out of the loop. More importantly, talking to someone else forces us to get the ideas out of our own head.

We need each other and all benefit from showing up for each other in times of need. Seeking help and support is part of what makes our human connection and cohesion stronger. It's a fundamental part of building a sense of self in community.

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When you get stuck, employ one of these strategies. Don't overthink it. Just take the shortest path to you and a strategy. The point is to disrupt the pattern you're in.

Thought loops come for all of us. But with practice, you’ll break them faster. Be patient with yourself as you learn.

You don’t have to stay stuck. Try one strategy right now.